top of page

Learning to Let Go of What I Can't Control

Choosing to Take Charge of What I Can Control and Letting Go of What I Can't Control

What I can't control and what I can control

Life is an intricate dance between the things we can control and those we cannot. Despite the pain it can cause, we have to learn to let go of things we cannot control and decide to act (or not) on the things we can. As Jon Kabat Zinn puts it: "We can't stop the waves, but we can learn to surf." Let's look into a few things we can and can't control, shall we?

What I Can Control

My Attitude:
  • How you look at things, that’s on you. Positive vibes or a gloomy outlook - it’s your call. Cultivating a positive perspective can transform challenges into opportunities for growth.

My Actions:
  • Your moves, your groove. Life’s a dance, and you’re the one leading. Regardless of external circumstances, you can choose how you respond to them.

My Words:
  • What you say and how you say it? All under your control. Choose words like you choose your outfits – wisely.

My Choices:
  • Life’s a buffet, and you get to pick what you put on your plate. You cannot say “yes” to everything. Choose wisely; it's your combo meal.

My Effort:

  • How hard you work – that’s your dial. Turn it up, turn it down. Learn to balance between sprint and recovery time.

My Emotional Reactions:

  • Things happen, feelings pop up. You cannot control how you feel, but how you react to your emotions? That’s your choice. Own it.

My Thoughts:

  • Your mind, your playground. You can learn to recognize unhelpful thought patterns and choose what you want to repeat in your mind.

My Goals:

  • Dreams and ambitions? All you. Set them, chase them, catch them. It's your game. Where you put your goals, your energy will go.

What I Can't Control:

Others' Feelings:

  • People got their emotional rollercoaster. You can hand them a tissue, but you can’t control the tears. You are responsible for your actions but not how others react to them.

Unforeseen Changes:

  • Life is unpredictable, changes are inevitable. Roll with it, adapt and improvise. You can’t control the unexpected, but you sure can control how you react to it. Hence, it's better to focus on adapting and finding solutions rather than resisting the inevitable.

The Past:

  • Yesterday’s done, can’t hit the rewind button. Learn from it, but don’t get stuck back there. Learn from the past, plan for the future, but recognize that you can only truly control your actions in the here and now.

What People Think:

  • Opinions are like flavors; everyone’s got their favorite. What people think? Not your scoop of ice cream.


  • Sure, your lifestyle plays a role in your health. However, genetics also plays a part, bodies do their thing, and sometimes it’s a plot twist. Doctors help, but you can’t control all the twists.


  • Rain or shine, not in your hands. Grab an umbrella or sunscreen, but you ain’t controlling the clouds.


  • It’s the one thing we all sign up for. You can’t know or change the date. Hence. focus on making the most of all the chapters until the last.

Others' Actions:

  • People got their script, and you got yours. You can influence, but it’s their play, not yours.

In a Nutshell

So, life’s this ocean, and you got a surfboard. Surf the wave you can, and accept you cannot control the flow of the ocean. Recognizing the boundaries between what you can and cannot control is a profound skill. By focusing your energy on the aspects you can influence and letting go of the rest, you can foster resilience, enhance your well-being, and lead a more purposeful and fulfilling life. Embracing this balance empowers you to navigate the seas of uncertainty with grace and wisdom.

we can't stop the waves but we can learn to surf. What i can't control and what i can control


bottom of page