Helping Your Child Cope with Grief: What Parents Need to Know
- Rise Up
- Mar 25
- 4 min read
Over the past few months, I’ve had the unfortunate opportunity to support many children facing grief — losing someone close to them, like a family member, a friend, or even a beloved pet.
As parents, when you’re heartbroken yourselves, you’re often left wondering:
When a child experiences loss, helping them cope with grief can feel overwhelming. I hope this article will give you some guidance and tools to help your child (and yourself) through this hard time.
💬1. How to Break the News and Talk About Death
Talking about death with a child is probably one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have. But being honest and clear helps them more than we think.
Here’s a little trick I like to use — I call it REACT:
Rapidity: Tell them as soon as you can. You don’t need to have all the answers — just being there and opening the door for conversation is what matters.
Exactitude (Being accurate): Tell them the truth in simple words. Don’t make up stories or say “everything is fine” if it’s not. And if you don’t know how to answer a question, it’s totally okay to say “I don’t know, but I’m here with you.”
Attention: Watch how they react. Listen. Let them talk. Let them cry or stay silent — however they need to express themselves.
Calm: I know you’re hurting too, but try to speak gently and calmly. Your calm helps them feel safer.
Tolerance: Be patient if they ask the same questions over and over. Death is a huge concept to grasp, and kids need time (and repetition) to understand.
Words you can say:
“His body stopped working. He can’t breathe, move, or talk anymore.”
Phrases to avoid and why:
“He went to sleep.” → This can make kids afraid to sleep.
“He’s in a better place.” → Kids might wonder why that “place” is better than being with them or being alive.
Stick with simple, clear explanations. Kids do better when they know what’s really going on.
💞2. How to Support Them: Helping Your Child Cope Through Grief
Sometimes, we want to “fix” their sadness — but what they need most is for us to be there.
Ask them:
“What do you need right now?”
“Would a hug help, or do you want space?”
“Do you want me to just listen, or would you like advice?”
Here are some ways kids can express their feelings (because sometimes words are too hard):
• Drawing pictures of the person or pet they lost
• Making a memory box with special objects
• Reading books about loss together
• Playing with dolls or toys to act out feelings
Help them keep a connection with their loved one:
• Light a candle on birthdays or special days
• Look through photos together
• Tell funny or happy stories about the person or pet
• Make a scrapbook or write letters to them
Also, show them it’s okay to be sad. If you cry, that’s okay! It teaches them that feelings are normal. You can say something like:
• “I’m really sad because I miss Grandma. It’s okay to be sad when we miss someone.”
And don’t forget to show them how you cope too — maybe you go for a walk, talk to a friend, or hug a pet. They’ll learn from watching you.
💡3. What Reactions to Expect: Think PUN
Personal: Every person grieves differently. Some cry, some get angry, some act like nothing happened — and it’s all okay.
Unpredictable: Grief can come in waves. One minute they’re laughing, the next minute they’re crying. Totally normal.
Normal: All feelings are valid. There’s no “right” way to grieve.
🚨4. When to Worry: What’s Normal and What’s Not?
Most of the time, kids’ grief comes and goes, and over time, it gets a little easier. But sometimes, grief gets stuck, and that’s when extra help is needed.
Here are some red flags to watch for:
If they stop doing things they love — not wanting to play, see friends, or do activities they used to enjoy for an extended period
If they aren’t sleeping or eating well for a long time
If they talk about wanting to be with the person who died
If you see these signs, it’s important to reach out for help — a counselor, therapist, or a grief support group for kids can really make a difference.
❤️Final Words
Grief is hard. There’s no magic way to make it “better.” But by being there, listening, and showing love, you’re giving your child exactly what they need.
And if you ever feel lost or overwhelmed, it’s okay to reach out for support. You don’t have to do this alone.
